I think I bled from my nose a little...

ME: ...great, and what phone number are you calling from today?
CALLER: Oh, I'm calling from my cell phone ###-###-####
ME: No problem. And how can I help you today?
CALLER: I'm having FTP issues
ME: *winces* Okay, and what FTP software are you using?
CALLER: Software?
ME: There are multiple different pieces of FTP software in use across the different divisions of the company.
CALLER: Oh... Uh, I don't know
ME: That's alright. Do you have it open in front of you right now?
CALLER: Oh sorry, no.
ME: That's okay. Could you open it for me?
CALLER: I'm sorry, I can't really do that right now.
ME: Huh?
CALLER: I'm not at my computer right now.
ME: Can you get to it for me?
CALLER: I'm sorry, I'm not in the office right now.
ME: And your computer is...?
CALLER: It's at the office.