I stand corrected, your whole department is the problem

If you haven't already, skip this post for the moment and read the preceding one first

CO-WORKER: Hey dude, I've got your last caller, calling back. You available?
ME: Oh Lord... *shakes head* Patch 'em through...
CALLER: Hello?
ME: Hi! Is this Rhonda again?
CALLER: Well, actually I'm not Rhonda. I'm Rhonda's temp, Cheryl.
ME: Oh, because earlier, you gave Rhonda's username.
CALLER: Oh, that's because I don't have a username.
ME: *winces, lets it slide* Okay, so how can I help you?
CALLER: Well, it's about that name. It turns out that it wasn't the email that was a problem. It's on a... performance review?
ME: Okay?
CALLER: Yeah, the email is all straightened out, but they need to change it on the performance review sheet thing.
ME: ..okay, well how about I remote control back into your computer and you can show it to me?
*Requests remote control session. User accepts it*
ME: Great, now if you could show me the problem?
CALLER: Oh uh...
*long pause, there are voices in the background*
*thumping noises, the phone's been handed to someone else*
CALLER #2: Hallllo?
ME: Hi?
CALLER #2: Okay, the problem is on Tawny Convoy's performance review history. You need to send a ticket out to have that changed.
ME: Uh, right. Would you be able to pull that up for me though? All I'm seeing is some email with the different Bob Kowak and Bob Koack on it.
CALLER #2: *slowly* The change needs to be made on her Performance... Review... History... Okay? The name needs changed from Kowak with a 'W' to a Koack with an 'A'
ME: Right, but I need to see you pull this up so I can get some more information before I can change this for you.
CALLER #2: You can't change it. The performance review process is very confidential so they're not letting the call center fix things. You need to send a ticket out.
ME: I know this, but before I can send that ticket out, I need to get more information. All I'm seeing right now on the remote control is email, so if you could pull up the screen where the problem is?
CALLER #2: I said, the problem's not in the email. It's in the performance review history. You can't fix it and you need to send a ticket out!
ME: Okay, I know that the problem isn't in the email. And although it might seem like there's only one performance review thing out there, there's a whole bunch and there's a whole bunch of different people I could send a ticket to. Now if you'll just pull it up on your computer for one moment I can get information that you don't know about. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Please just follow my instructions!
CALLER #2: ..okay... *click click* see, here's the problem
ME: *reads the document* wait, I thought you said that the correct manager was Koack?
CALLER #2: Yes
ME: The manager line here already says Koack
CALLER #2: I know, but it needs changed in the history, right here.
ME: *slaps forehead* Okay *highlights text* I'm going to read this off to you. On the 11th, the manager was changed to Kowak. Then a week later on the 18th, the manager was changed to Koack. It's been fixed. This is the history. It tracks all of the changes so if there's a problem, we can look at what's already happened. We can't change this.
CALLER #2: Alright.... but this is my manager's performance review, and she's really embarrassed that she chose the wrong manager, and wants to have this changed so that it doesn't show up anymore.
ME: *slaps forehead again* *sigh* ...okay, I'll see what I can do *files request to trash bin*