Heheheh, suckers....

I just took a call from a guy who supports file servers at one of our sites. He just wanted to let us know that he just deleted 70 GBs of MP3s off of the network drives and that they weren't going to be restored, no matter who complained.

This amuses me to no end.

A failure to communicate...

Me: Okay, what we're going to be typing is going be using the 'backslash' key. This is not on your question mark key
Caller: (DISTRACTED, BROWSING START MENU) Sure, question mark or backslash, just let me know what to type.
Me: I will, but we're not using the question mark key.
Caller: (NOT LISTENING, OPENING MINESWEEPER) Yeah, we're using the backslash
Me: Which is the one that goes from the upper left to the lower right and is not located on the question mark key...
Caller: (BORED, PLAYING MINESWEEPER) Backslash, yeah.
Me: ... andit's usually located above the Enter key, do you see it?
Caller: (AGGRIVATED, LOSING MINESWEEPER) I'm ready to type, if you would just tell me what character to type in already!
Me: I am trying to tell you what to type. I'm trying to tell you what to _NOT_ type first! We're not using the forwardslash key, which is located on the question mark key. We're using the backslash. Could you tell me if you see the other slash mark key, it's located over the enter key?
Caller: (CLOSES MINESWEEPER, NOW LISTENING) Uh.. yeah.
Me: Okay, I just needed you to confirm that. So now type in backslash-backslash-"long network path" ...Read that back off to me?
Caller: backslash-backslash-"long network path"
Me: Great! now hit Enter
Caller: You mean OK?
Me: (STIFLING GREAT CRY OF ANGUISH) Enter key, Ok button. It's all the same!

My head hurts....

I just got off the phone with Robert. Robert doesn't speak English very well. In fact, Robert speaks English so poorly, that his name is not actually Robert. Robert has never been his name, and most likely never will be... but Robert speaks English so poorly that when I asked him if his name was Robert, he said yes. Robert speaks English so poorly that when I called him Robert for five minutes, he didn't stop me. Robert speaks English so poorly that I actually head-butted my monitor at one point. You see, Robert doesn't like to let on that he doesn't know what you're saying. This presents a problem when Robert is speaking with people. This is a problem when Robert calls me. This is a problem... when you're trying to kill Robert. That's right Robert, if I may call you that, I'm trying to kill you with the force of my hate for you. My hate, anger and frustration is so great that it transcends names. It does not care whether your name is Robert or not, especially when you'll gladly answer to that name. My hate is great, but possibly your stupidity is greater. But my anger feeds on your stupidity Robert. My anger feeds....

/vent frustration

Consider me corrected when the alphabet attacks!

Caller: "No, that's X as in Zebra"

That's a big hole....

Me: "So, is your ethernet cable plugged in? You're not connecting wirelessly, right?"
Caller: "Oh yeah, the internet's pushed in there"

Ah... the inanity

Last call of the day: "Hi, I can't click on anything by tapping on my touchpad. Yes, I can still move the cursor with the touchpad. Yes, the buttons next to the touchpad still work, but I want to click on things by tapping the touchpad"

Ah... the inanity

Last call of the day: "Hi, I can't click on anything by tapping on my touchpad. Yes, I can still move the cursor with the touchpad. Yes, the buttons next to the touchpad still work, but I want to click on things by tapping the touchpad"